Who knew?
by tyrannosaurus lex. luthor
Summary: Considering she was a woman who spent most of her time tracking down aliens and blowing up planets, he never really thought she could cook, let alone be good at it. Hmm. Who knew? A short Snakus fic.


There was a dangerous storm outside. It's strong and punishing winds had beat against the mansion with a relentless fury for most of the day, the sound of thunder echoing through the entire complex like the booming sound of a cannon, the rain beating down on the windows. For some people it would almost impossible to sleep with weather like this, minus Ganondorf, who relished in weather like this.

And Snake was one of those people. Everytime he began to drift off to sleep, there was another crash of thunder, later accompanied by a flash of tossed and turned in bed for hours, growing increasing aggravated as he couldn't even find a comfortable. It wasn't like he got much sleep anyway, most nights he went to bed late, was suddenly roused from his slumber by another nightmare, and then went to the mansions gym for early morning training.

Feeling frustrated, he set off to the kitchen to brew himself a pot of coffee, only to find Samus standing in front of the stove. Her back was turned to him, and he couldn't quite see what she was doing, but it was obvious she was cooking which greatly confused him. He saw her reach up to the seasoning cabinet, taking out a few spices he didn't quite recognize, and

It was kind of a weird sight... He'd never, ever, since he'd met her, see her do anything remotely close to _normal_. That was just how she was. That was how they all were, the entire tournament was centered around men, women, and oddly enough, children (though Pit didn't like being seen as a kid and often assured Snake that he was much older than he appeared—in his twenties actually—the mercenary couldn't help but regard the Angel as a young boy) who's lives were a big fat pile of illogical _bullshit_.

Normal didn't suite them. Normal didn't suite her, it was simply out of character. And of all the places to be, why at _stove_? Sure, everyone had their hobbies, but the bounty huntress never quite struck him as Cooking Mama material...

"Can't sleep?" Samus asked, not bothering to turn around, snapping the mercenary out of his thoughts.

He grunted a yes, slightly irritated that she noticed him. He was certain that he came in silently. But despite him being able to take most smashers by surprise, even a few that should have been able to sense him, _she_ had an annoying habit of knowing where he was. Though, he couldn't help but wonder why she was there. He didn't know anyone else woke up this early.

As if knowing what he was about to ask, she answered, "I'm usually up this early. I don't like having to deal with Bowser's antics at breakfast, so I eat before anyone wakes up. Coffee?" She offered, walking over to the side counter and hoping on, waiting for the coffee maker to finish up.

"It's not decafe is it."

"I don't even recognize decafe as actual coffee." She snorted.

Ah, indeed a woman after his own heart. "Sure." He reached into the cupboard, taking out a medium sized mug. He couldn't help but keep glancing at the meal she'd prepared herself, and but ask. "So... You cook?"

"Sort of," she replied as she watched the final drops hit the pot, "It's not my favorite pastime... But it's not like any five star chefs are up this early, so I picked up a few tips from Peach and decided to do it myself. Want some?"

Snake leaned against the counter as Samus poured him a cup. His curiosity got the better of him. "What's in it?"

"Secret." she said in mid-sip.

"No, really."

"I'm serious." She replied.

Snake sighed, "So what's it gonna take to pry it out?"

She shrugged her shoulders and continued to sip from her mug as she carried her plate of food to the table and sat down.

Snake waited a few minutes for the answer he wanted, but it never came as she began eating her meal in silence.

When she was about halfway through, she stood, swallowing the last of her coffee. "You can have the rest if you want. I'll be at the training room if you need me."

Snake knew he wasn't getting anywhere. Instead he decided to be direct with her. As she made her way to the kitchen he intercepted her, planting his hands on her hips and spinning her to face him, hoisting her onto the counter in an attempt to do _something. _She was slightly taken aback, and he enjoyed always being able to catch her off guard like that, making things a little more exciting was always fun. Plus he really needed to know what was in the food because for sone odd reason it was really bugging him. He didn't know why, he didn't have a reason, it just _did. _"What did you put in it?

She just wrapped her legs around his waist and slid her fingers into his hair as she pressed their lips together. Her left hand gently stroked his sides and she deepened the kiss, her chest tightly pressed against his. She reluctantly broke the kiss to catch her breath. "Is this an interrogation?"

He hungrily nestled his lips on her neck. She let out a tiny gasp as his tongue stroked her neck. She sighed and tipped her head back, letting her eyes close, and then letting out this sort of squeal as he found her pulse and lightly nipped at it, then took it between his lips and sucked, swiping his tongue against it. Her entire body shivered, and he wrapped an arm around her to keep her from falling when he slid his lips up her neck and nipped at the underside of her jaw, making her knees quiver. "I guess you could call it that... So, are you going to tell me?

She grinned and unwound her legs from around his waist, and he laughed when she kicked gently against his chest so that he stepped backwards. "Nope."

"You've got to be kidding me!"

She arched a brow. "Why don't you just _taste_ it?"

He shrugged. "Let's look at the facts, shall we? Your smart... Your sexy... But your a bounty huntress! From the future! Sexy, plus hunter, doesn't seem to add up to good cook!

She blushed a little, and even more so when he laughed at her practically leaping off of the counter and over to him so that she could give him a smoldering kiss. " Are you insulting my cooking when you've never even _tried_ it?"

He took a moment to consider the question. Then nodded. "Yeah. Pretty much."

She rolled her eyes and playfully punched his arm. "Your impossible..." Giving him a quick peck on the cheek, she stated, "Look, I really need to go train. Food's on the table if you change your mind."

And then she was off, leaving Snake to ponder. He plopped down on the table chairs, staring at the platter of food with suspicion. He really had no idea what to do. Would he try it, he questioned. No, he answered himself, he didn't have a death wish. But it was just a simple breakfast, just some eggs, a bit of bacon and a slice of toast. What did he have to lose? His life, he answered again. She probably poisoned it, why else would she offer? But then again, she ate it too. Why would she eat her own poisoned food? Unless she wanted their relationship to have a Bonnia and Clyde type of ending.

But his curiosity would kill him if he didn't do it. He grimaced picking up a forkful of food and holding to his mouth. He groaned, preparing himself for the misery he assumed followed, and reluctantly took a bite.

He choked and gagged, falling over in his chair, clutching his throat in a desperate attempt to breath. It was...

Actually not bad.

He wasn't exactly a food critic, but there was something about the mix of weird, probably unheard of seasonings that made it taste almost _gourmet_ in it's odd flavor. There was an odd texture that made him question if maybe she did put something in there, but for the most part, it was pretty damn good.

Considering she was a woman who spent most of her time tracking down aliens and blowing up planets, he never really thought she could cook, let alone be good at it. Hmm. Who knew?


End file.
